She works hard for the money

So, we've moved.  I love love LOVE the town, and that everybody here is so friendly. The scenery is just amazing. So far, it's a very relaxing place to live.

And....I have found my dream job. I'm co-ordinating respite services for a disability organisation. I get a company car for personal use (a very sexy Honda CRV!), an awesome salary that increases every six months, and fantastic school hours. And, like everywhere else, the people are lovely - so friendly and happy.

So all good, right? Well, almost. There is one thing I'm struggling with. Some of you know that I was done over fairly badly at work last year by someone I had called a friend. We had socialised outside of work on a number of occasions. I helped her through a personal crisis, she supported me through some of mine. Then, unbeknown to me, apparently I upset her - and rather than discuss it with me as you would expect from a friend, she chose to complain about me to anyone who would listen. It pretty much destroyed my career with that organisation, as I felt I had to leave to protect the clients from further confusion and disruption.

I've always been the kind of person that can't understand why people just can't get along. People used to warn me against having personal relationships in the workplace; I called those people cynical. It was extremely hard for me to accept that I had been wrong all along. That having friendships in the workplace could ruin your career.  I decided then and there, that I would never again socialise with work colleagues - that I would be friendly, but not a friend. That work and personal would remain forever separate.

In my new workplace, it seems EVERYONE socialises with one another. And what's more, they genuinely appear to like each other. And weirdly, it now terrifies me. I'm not sure how I'm expected to behave.  I don't want to go back on my rule. But at the same time, I don't want to offend people by seeming detached when there are so many friendship groups. I don't want to alienate myself.

So herein lies the problem. Now, I've only been there for a week, but I'm already being invited to social events. I really want to believe these people are genuine in their offers of friendship. But I love this job too - and I don't want to lose it. Early days I suppose...but of all the things I'm having to learn at this new job, this is the thing I'm having the hardest time wrapping my head around.

Have I turned into a cynical bitch? Is it really possible to have work colleagues that are also friends? How can you tell? I'd love to hear experiences from others.